Are We Fooling Ourselves?

 

Do you ask for advice when you already know the answer?  We all do at times. Instead, we should focus on taking the first step in doing what we already know. One step in the right direction is better than having one more conversation about why we aren’t doing what we know to do.

Most of us have become people who value the knack of “fooling ourselves.” 

We believe our own excuses that we continue to tell ourselves about “why” we haven’t done many of the things we hold dear to our life.

We have all fooled ourselves into believing that we are missing another piece of essential information to make us more money, more time, more resources, more information, more support and the list goes on and on.  

Do we find it?  Generally NO.  We find a ton of information but not just the right piece…so, we continue searching.

We already know the information but have not moved into action.

What do you already know? What first step can you take today?

Stop fooling yourself!  The answers are within you.  Now take the steps to get into action!

Business Advice: Words of Wisdom

Have you ever gotten words of wisdom, integrated them into your life, and then discovered that they were counter-productive to your goals and dreams?

We all mean well in giving advice, but seldom know others well enough to give them good advice. Good advice is based on conventional wisdom. It takes into account what has worked fairly successfully for some but that doesn’t mean it will work for you. The advice may have merit, but is it right for you?

If you solicit advice, you are sure to get a ton of it! It can kill your dreams quickly if you don’t listen to, and more importantly, understand what has happened in the person’s past that molded their way of thinking.

You see, there are people that view the world as a scary place and others that view the world full of opportunities and joy. That is not to say that every day is joyful, but that those joyful people tend to lean towards the “fun” part instead of the “fearful” part of life and see it through eyes of understanding instead of eyes of control.

For me, I believe the only thing we really have in life that cannot be taken away is our knowledge. I believe I have good advice to give but truly, the advice I would give is good for me and not many others. I choose to give encouragement instead.

One thing for sure is that if you can’t hear advice with a critical ear, you shouldn’t ask for it! You have a responsibility to hear the advice and take it, hear it and take portions of it, or hear it and are critical about whether you believe the advice is good for you and your situation. You can also disregard the advice altogether.

Good advice can be deadly to your dreams. Your responsibility is to view all advice with the awareness that it is your dream and your decision.  Every dream involves risk.

Make sure it is your dream and not the dream of someone else that you have taken on.

Positive thinking – Is it enough to make your dreams come true?

 Positive thinking

Many books and articles you read tell you about the power of positive thinking.  You could fill a small town library with the self-help books whose subscribe to this simple idea.  The idea is also all the rage among research psychologists everywhere.

The world loves an optimist and optimism comes pretty naturally to most of us.  There is more than one way to think positively about your goal.  Let’s say that you have a goal of losing weight. 

               You could say to yourself:  “I have the ability to lose weight, and I am confident I can reach my goal.”  You could think positively about your chances of success.

               You could say to yourself: “I will easily be able to avoid temptations like doughnuts and potato chips, and have no problems sticking to my new exercise regimen.”  In other words, you could think positively about easily overcoming obstacles to success.

Both statements are positive.  Can you hear the difference in the statements?  No? 

One is focused on success – having the ability to lose weight and the confidence to reach your goal.  Is that enough to make it happen?  Maybe.

The other is positive and focused on overcoming obstacles.  It includes the thoughts (negative) of what the person will have to endure to reach their goal.  Is that important?

Absolutely!  If you are not clear that goal setting includes the knowing your will run into obstacles and what those obstacles are for you, you may never reach your intended goal. 

Yes, I am saying that the negative thinking has a place in you reaching your goal.  A bigger part than you may think.  You see having success is about having the self-belief that you will eventually succeed, but also the confidence that you will have a tough time getting there. 

Is believing the road will be rocky important to achieving your goal?  For starters, negative emotions like anxiety and worry are useful, although they are seen as negative.  Those negative thoughts can motivate us to take extra effort or to plan how we will deal with problems before they occur. 

Why?  In recent studies, the participants have proven people put in more effort if they feel the goal will be hard to achieve.  They take more action to achieve the goal.  In other areas of life like getting a job after college for instance, if a person feels that it will be easy to get a job after college, they send out fewer resumes.  If a person feels that the exam will be a piece of cake, they studied far less than others in the class. 

So, what is the best way to set goals so that you will reach them?  The optimal strategy to use when setting a goal seems to be to think positively about how it will be when you achieve your goal, while thinking realistically about what it will take to get there.  It is called mental contrasting –first you imagine attaining your goal, then you reflect on the obstacles that stand in your way.

Mental contrasting only helps you commit to achieving a goal if the goal is something you really believe you can achieve.    If you don’t believe you will achieve the goal, mental contrasting will help you abandon an unattainable daydream.  You may go through a grief period as it is not easy to give up your idea.

Considering both what you want and what stands in your way will give you the clarity to make good decisions.  When the chances for success are high, it will increase your commitment to your goal.  When your chances are not so good, it will help you recognize that fact and move on.

Here are the steps using Mental Contrasting

1.  Write down a wish or concern you currently have.  Something like taking a vacation to the Caribbean or moving to Hollywood to become an actor, or losing ten pounds.
2. Think about what a happy ending would look like for your wish.  Write down one positive aspect of this happy ending (for example: how great it would be to have a fabulous body to tan on the beach).
3. Next, think about the obstacles that stand in your way… between you and the happy ending (for example: my love of sugar tends to stand in the way between me and the thinner me who lives in my weight-loss happy ending).
4. List another positive aspect.
5. List another obstacle.
6. List another positive aspect.
7. List another obstacle.

 Do you think your chances for success are better now?  From this information, should you pursue this goal?  You have data that will help you decide.  With this information you should have a better sense of your success rate and how committed you really are to that success.

Armed with this information, you are ready to be more successful in the attainment of your goals.

Share in the comments about your experience.  Have you used Mental Contrasting?  Has it worked for you?

Has Your Business Been Blessed by the Google Fairy?

 

Decisions, Decisions.  Is a Business blog really what you need for your business?

Deciding to write a blog sounds like fun, doesn’t it?  Almost every blog that writes about business says you need a blog for your company.  The reasons, according to the experts are:  You can target potential clients; A business blog can give you more online traffic;  It can help you create valuable person-to-person connection (please); or it can help you create a community.  Do these sound like valid reasons to you as an entrepreneur?

What your company will become

The business bloggers say, it makes your company more successful. They also say that if you don’t blog enough, you are losing customers.  What is enough?  According to the experts, you need to be blogging 3-5 times a week.

Time involved

If you decide to blog, know that the endeavor will take a chunk of time to write blog posts.  Ask anyone that does it.   The expressed opinion online has been that many of the well-known and followed people who blog find they run out of ideas, time, or motivation on the blog content at one time or another. 

How often

It is tough to come up with three blog posts a week and not run out of ideas or motivation within a 6-12 month timeframe.  Even the most creative minds have trouble coming up with that many ideas that quickly.

Most people start blogs and find that they can’t dedicate the time needed to post as often as the experts suggest.  A variety of people get hung up on the stats and if they don’t reach their intended goal soon enough, they quit.  Many of the popular blogs are outsourced to freelance writers or guest bloggers.  Virtual assistants do a fair share of blogging for companies also.

Your company may be different

As an entrepreneur, you need to stop listening to the “should” advice and listen to your own inner voice.  After all, you didn’t start your own business to listen to others, did you?  Do these business bloggers know you or your business?  No, they don’t.  It is good to listen to others that have gone before you but listening and doing something that completely go against your principles or goals is not really what your company is all about, is it? 

Focus your efforts

If you do decide to blog, focus your efforts on great content instead of how many times you post in a week or month.  Keep an eye on your stats but don’t get obsessed with them. 

You will easily see when you get indexed by the Google fairy and you are blessed with the ranking dust.  You will have more than a silent fart of traffic. 

Millions of blogs 

 There are millions of bloggers online.  One less for a few weeks or a few months won’t matter.  Your survival is much more important than your Google rating.  When you have taken the time you need to nurture yourself, you can decide to jump back in or let blogging be a thing of the past.    

Not always successful

Jon Morrow, Associate editor of Copyblogger admits that he stopped blogging completely four years ago and wrote a post about it.  Here is the link to his story:  http://guestblogging.com/quit-blogging/

It’s Your Business; You decide 

Remember, nothing is written in stone and having a plan B and C are helpful…but if you enjoy not having a plan that is perfectly okay too.  As an entrepreneur, you will be able to see if something is working or not working and adjust quickly.   If you decide to blog, know that your blog will change focus many times in the first year.  Your audience will change too.

Is Facebook Headed Down the Same Path as MySpace?

Facebook Changes 

In recent months Facebook has implemented many changes.  These changes were not embraced by the users I interviewed, although most users are doing their best with the information and misinformation that has come from the experts of Facebook.  The gurus have been guilty of giving users information that is incomplete at best.  If you have made decisions based on these tidbits of information, my heart goes out to you but, if you are waiting for the dust to settle, I applaud you.  

MySpace issues

MySpace has had its share of issues with pages being extremely slow to load, pages not displaying correctly,  and downloaded music that wouldn’t load, all happening after a MySpace website overhaul.  It was reported that MySpace lost 10 million users in a month after the site overhaul when users felt enough was enough and the complaints were falling into the black hole of cyberspace.

FB issues with changes

Is Facebook headed in the same direction as MySpace?  Facebook has made many changes that have not been embraced by the users.  Prior to February 2011, users could post and comment on the walls of other pages.  Currently, there is no option for an administrator of a page to ban another page for spam-like behavior, which can be part of social behavior.  Facebook and users on Facebook have opened themselves up to a new game where the rules are unclear.

Private Information

Users on Facebook, including businesses, give their information freely; information that most users consider private.  Users on Facebook have perceived that there is security, when in fact, nearly all information can be seen by any user.  It is a matter of time before people realize all this information can be used for things that are not in their best interests. 

Information for sale -cheap

Places such as Spokeo and WhitePages  are now selling your information that has been gathered from social media sites like Facebook to anyone willing to pay $2.95 a month.  Things like:  pictures you have posted on Facebook, your credit score, home value, income, age, and even a picture of your home. 

The New Virus 

Here’s the thing.  Social media has been all the rage for a several years.  The new “virus” has become social networking.  While being social, it seems we have forgotten about the boundaries that need to exist in our network.  We share a lot of information on our profiles.

Looking legitimate

I remind you that anyone can put up a website in a matter of minutes,  make a Facebook page and get people to befriend them and set up an email address and look legitimate.  What has happened to  protecting our own information?  When did protecting your information become a social media site’s responsibility?

The Only Private Information

The bottom line is that if you don’t want this information public, keep it to yourself.  Yes, this is public information but once you see all your current information in one place it can and should  be concerning.  Knowing that almost anyone can afford $2.95/month for a ton of information on thousands of people is amazing, and not in a good way.

Freely given information 

Lots of people are more than a little overly protective of their email address when opting-in a website to get a newsletter or a free eBook.  Many people have confessed they MUST see the privacy statement before they will give their email address.  Yet, on social media sites, the same people freely give, not one, but many email addresses and phone numbers for themselves.   No one has to steal our information; we give it to them freely. 

Privacy on FB

Should we be concerned about privacy on Facebook?  Absolutely.  Remember, if you put the information out there, it can be compromised.   Most people are aware of security, but when something happens to your information, you are responsible, not a social media site.   Facebook is a company with 600 million users.  If you have a security issue, you can expect large corporation behavior.  Do you know the laws about a breach of information? 

Paranoid or Cautious

Should you be paranoid?  No.  But you should be cautious when it comes to your information. When your information gets compromised, your blissful nights come to an end very quickly.  When that happens, the finger-pointing begins quickly and the responsibility is slow to come to the surface.

Small Business Can Have BIG Headaches

 After Tax Season, I wanted to lighten it up a bit!  I need a laugh…hope you do to.

Entrepreneurs put in some “crazy” hours, don’t we?  Somehow, those 1440 beautiful moments we have in a day weren’t supposed to be like this.  Some days, we can’t even remember our own name.  The other morning, I went to make my coffee and I’m not kidding you…opened the refrigerator door expecting a hand to offer me my already made hot cup of coffee.  Ok, I was really tired but it was so real, I actually stood there and waited.  When nothing showed up, I finally shut the door and made my own.  I am sure you have had days that start off like that too. 

Having your own company is like having a newborn child.  There is never enough time to sleep.  Just like a newborn’s stomach is always hungry; entrepreneur’s brains are always thinking of something that has to be done.  We have to focus on: a new product launch; an article that needs a new slant, a tough client that took out their bad day on you (that one lingers way too long in our mind.)

If you are a write for a living, you understand how little time there is in a day.  Good writing takes time.  Blogs take time.  Quality takes time.  Communication takes time.  Social media takes time.  Information gathering takes time.  Research takes time.  Surveys take time.  Reading takes time.  Scheduling takes time.  Ok, you understand.  It is a time-consuming process.  A process we writers generally enjoy… as crazy as that sounds.  It is our contribution to the world, whether the world is ready for it or not.

Writers need an audience.  It doesn’t have to be large, although that is nice, we just need one person every once in a while that appreciates what we write.  We are not ego maniacs; quite the opposite, in fact.  We work for morsels of compliments and continue to write even when we receive none.  We forge through writers block…eventually.  We are like small children with abusive parents (except the abuse can come from our audience) throwing out a compliment now and then…We are insecure and shy, trying to write for an audience that may or may not be there tomorrow, awaiting for that  glimmer of “niceness” to come our way.

There must be some form of masochism in our core.

Mentors: The One Person You Need for Small Business

 

We all know we can’t go it alone in business.  We need the ability of others to help us through the ups and downs of our business.  We need help with a variety of things.  We need someone to tell us, “it will be okay” when things are not going well.  We all have drama moments.  We also need them to tell us if something sucks so we don’t go down that road, or at least help us see that it sucks and show us another path.

Here are five things a mentor can do for you and your business

1.)     A mentor can help you through your “drama moments” when your business day seems too heavy to carry alone.  This doesn’t happen often but when it does, you may need to hear a real voice instead of the one in your head.

2.)    If you have been lucky enough to have found a mentor that lives in your area, the mentor is invaluable when you are doing something new.  They remind you of all your successes and give you the perspective that you need. 

3.)    If something you are doing sucks for your business, they tell you.  They are your accountability partner in your business.  If you are doing something that goes against your core values, they have the tough conversation with you instead of allowing you to self-sabotage your business or yourself.

4.)    A mentor can save you time.   Time is one thing we could all use more of in small business.  Mentors are business people to and their experience is invaluable when it comes to saving yourself some time.

5.)    A mentor can also be your cheerleader and help when it comes to marketing your company; helping you grow into the leader you want you are.

Mentors want you to succeed; they help you be better than you think you are.  They can help you balance your life better.  We all need help with that now and then.  One of the biggest joys of having a mentor is that they can help you find the best medicine; laughter.  We all need more of that in our lives and it is the glue that holds relationships together.

Tax Time Again: Don’t Miss a Deduction

Looking for those missed tax deductions?

None of us are big fans of tax time and preparing for it sometimes requires more time than what a tax professional expends. Here are some deductions that are generally missed on tax returns. You may be entitled to these and more when you are ready to file.

They may make the difference in whether you will have to write a check, or the IRS will be writing you a check for your return this year.

Mileage calculations

You can deduct mileage for medical care. The 2009 deduction is 24 cents a mile but with small children, this can add up quickly. Don’t forget if you do charitable work at a 501 c 3 community, the mileage is also deductible.

Expenses for your job search

If you have searched for a job in the same field before your layoff, you can deduct the expenses for your job search. This can be quite significant since you may be like so many workers that have been out of work for most, if not all of the year.

Cut gambling losses

Save your receipts! Gambling losses can be deducted to the extent of gambling winnings reported on Form 1040, line 21. They must be clearly identified on the dotted lines next to line 28.

Claim dependent parents

If you are responsible for one-half of your parent’s living expenses, they can be a dependent. Don’t forget to calculate medical expenses, housing and insurance, food as well as transportation. The parent(s) don’t have to live with you. If you paid less than 50 percent of their care, you may still be able to use the Multiple Support Declaration.

Financial Advice

If you paid for some financial advice, deduct it.

Summary

You spend about 100 days a year working just to pay your taxes. There is no joy in having to pay more taxes, so lessen the burden. Get as many deductions as you are entitled. Don’t forget that you can file amended tax returns for up to three years. Again this year, many of the large tax companies will take a look at your last tax return to determine if you are entitled to more deductions than you received.